I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
