I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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