once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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