and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
