I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
it glows. i had to have it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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