He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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