You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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