I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Come see our sink grown plant.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
