I wish you could order shots online.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We don't watch enough power rangers
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
