I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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