I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
