He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
