Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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