at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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