just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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