wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
