i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize