no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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