What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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