He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
