i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
