I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
