Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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