so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Randomize
