so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
