nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
