There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
