i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have aggressive nipples.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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