you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
