My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
