My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
