God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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