NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
