Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
