Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
