Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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