keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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