we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
