Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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