at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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