Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So vagazzling was a success
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize