she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
