Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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