HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
