We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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