Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
