yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
