I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
