He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
