ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
