Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
