We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
