Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
