i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
