I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Bring me that man meat
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
