sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
